whole heartedly.

i am obsessed with my child.

when she is awake, i will do anything to make her smile. or coo. her noises are so sweet and angelic. it is heaven to me.

when she sleeps, i stare at her, smiling, and sometimes crying, because i literally love her so much that it makes me so happy but also so scared.

when she naps, which she is actually doing from time to time now, i blog about her. and edit pictures of her. and make videos.

i am that mother. oh well. riley- you are sooo worth it girl.

happy three months my little girl. you are, without a doubt, the best thing i have ever done.

rileys first friend!

we got to spend the last weekend in palm dessert with DUKE. it was so special to see our babies together. so so special.

such a fun time. other than the hangover (scotty was on daddy duty... but i wont be asking that of him again for a loooooooong time).

nica.

so... sometimes when people start a family things change. not when youre married to scotty. so even though we have a two and a half month old bebe- he booked us 8 days in nicaragua. on a beach in the middle of nowhwhere, with a convenient left break for him to enjoy, and an infinity pool for me and riley to enjoy. we will be there with two other lovely couples (love you kim), but im a little worried. a little.

anywho- on my nica to do list:

1. make sure my baby is 110% up to date on her vaccinations. (they will be completed like the day before we depart).

2. make like 60 versions of my "pack for baby" list and have my mother and pediatrician check it 25 times each.

3. walk a lot of hills.

4. lose about 20 lbs.

here are some things i have purchased or plan on purchasing to make me feel better about the trip. yes, i can absolutely be bought.

got this for the little lady. spf 30 and weighs next to nothing. she is going to be so cute hanging out in it on the beach. i am obsessed with diapers.com. (i placed an order at 3:50pm yesterday and there is a huge box, with this tent in it, and dish soap, and diapers, and scottys body wash on my doorstep as we speak. its 9:17 am! and free shipping).

you might be thinking, elysia- this is a maternity dress?!?!? riley is out of your stomach... well yes, but i love it on the skinny bitch too. this is on the wish list for nica. made by hatch. they are my new favorite designer. even though i am not prego. fuck it. i will be again one day...

riley and i need matching salt waters. im just having a hard time finding them for me. but these make me smile. yes, i know she doesnt walk.

you may be thinking... a blouse swimsuit?!?!?! elysia- dont give up entirely at 29! but i ordered it. and im gonna rock it. thanks jcrew.
courtney was wearing these last weekend. i loved them, so i ordered them. a lady can never have too many shades. especially when you lose them the way i do. so cute! and only $42 @ anthropologie.
i LOVEEEE these. i dont usually buy free people stuff if it isnt on sale- bc it ALWAYS goes on sale (ive been tricked too many times before). so i am keeping tabs on them and will soon have them in my possession, and for 30% less. but i love them.

bad blogger.

how is it that i havent had a spare moment to update the blog? probably bc i use my free time to shower, or tweeze my eyebrows, or fold clothes, or read other peoples blogs...

riley turned 6 weeks old yesterday. at her 5 week check up- she gained OVER 2x the amount that a normal baby would gain. i guess that makes sense considering she nurses every 45 minutes. she is plump, and healthy and DELICIOUS, and over 10.5 lbs!

she sleeps on my pillow, facing me. i feel her breathe all night... it brings me comfort and happiness that i cannot describe. i live for it.

she looks just like scotty. big ol blue eyes and all... lucky girl.

i feel back to normal again. we leave the house every day. this is huge for me.

my lower half got the feared "go ahead" yesterday. i can get up and down and feel zero pain. i can also exercise now. it has been a very long time since i did that. i have 8 lbs until i get to my "pre-baby" weight, but 18 to go until i reach my "pre- marriage" weight. whoops. so lots of work to do.

i am happy again, too. riley has always made me happy... but i had some ups and downs the last few weeks that i think scared scotty a little. but all is well on the bentley court front... except for the fact that i am SO BORED. i miss work a lot. i miss just talking to people about anything.

here is our little nugget. love her.

my genius idea to go on walks every night to lose the weight with scotty and riley has gotten derailed by the whole foods gelato three blocks away.
this is one of my favorites. what a sweety.
when nothing else will do- she lays on scotts forearm and sucks his fingers. whatever works.

this is the most threatening face in the world. this is what scott and i fear all day and all night. this face means i am about to flippin lose it. but its still so cute, no?

and riley knows how sexy i think my OB is so she purposely made crossed eyes in this pic. so that i never frame it. to protect scott. haha. also- still cute.

i am simply not the best cook. and to be honest... i dont really enjoy cooking all that much. anyways- i decided i am going to be one of those mommas who makes the same shit every week.

so then when riley asks her friend if they want to stay for dinner (i am thinking long term here), and they say, whats your mom making, riley can be like, "its monday- so spaghetti and then she will be drinking wine watching the bachelor".

sunday- some sort of filling salad... figuring we will have usually gone out for brunch ill keep it light. salmon caesar, chinese chicken, you get the point.

monday- spaghetti of some sort

tuesday- taco tuesday, duh

wednesday- fish of some sort (here is yesterdays tilapia with mango salsa and quinoa)

thursday- ronda's chicken. my mother in law has a fool proof chicken recipe. its heaven.

friday- order in.

saturday- husband will be taking me out. wine and dine me. or else i will lose it.

and- i think the cork board i bought for our kitchen is big enough. do you?

yes, this is what my life has amounted to. i need to go back to work.

2 weeks.

our little love turned 2 weeks old yesterday.

my mom baby sat and scotty and i went to a 530 dinner reservation at gjelina. it was nice to get out of the house. and there is no one i would rather have watch riley than my momma.

what have i learned in two weeks little girl?

well... i have a new depth to my ability to love. i love you so much it makes me cry... i cry all of the time (good tears). you are currently strapped to my chest with the ergo- and i find my spare hand holding you even closer. i cant listen to pretty songs anymore. ones about love, family, or home are off limits... they make me too overwhelmed with love and i drown myself in tears. i can survive on no sleep (so far). i can sit and stare at you for the whole day. you change every day, maybe even every hour, and i dont want to miss a second with you. i love your daddy more than i thought i could. little riley, you have already made me better. a better wife, a better and more appreciative daughter, (and a more reclusive friend, but im sure that will pass), and you of course made me a momma. thanks little angel.

heres a bit of your second week with us:

things of late. according to my iphone.

we have kinda sorta made a little progress on little girls room/corner. kinda. cribs are kind of lonely looking without bumpers and toys. but check out my cute chevron totes from my besties in washington. LOVE them. and the changing table is from when i was a little baby. we just wiped it off and got some cute knobs from cost plus and voila. it now looks like an old changing table that has been wiped off and given new knobs. ha. still to do- hang the driftwood mobile that court made for her, paint the walls, protect the windows with earthquake proof lining, find some sort of rocking device, and hang something on the teeny bit of wall space we have for her.

scotty has been having a good ol time in the kitchen. this is miso glazed black cod with spinach. and i added a loaf of bread and oil to my portion because i am huge now and i can never eat just a simply healthy meal. it was delish, and i hope the husband a) stays on this cooking for me kick (he even did the dishes. it was crazy!) b) keeps it nice and healthy for when i am trying to lose this little girl weight that is slowing me down, and c) starts to understand portion control- at $26.99 a lb, we dont each need 1 lb of fish for dinner. especially in a house like ours where leftovers get shown no love. but thank you husband, it was delish! and i love the omega 3's!

i am behind with the kitchen pics. but here i am 2 weeks ago. i know, its massive. and its only getting bigger. as much as i hate being as huge as i am... i love that it (might) mean that we have a big healthy girl growing larger by the second. yes please! and then i go back to hating that i will have to push this potentially huge baby out... but thats something we dont speak of.

i got a new car! thanks husband! she is a beauty. and huntley bear is mortified that she is no longer allowed to sit in the front or wherever she pleases. but she is getting used to the trunk. she is a dog. i am not going to beat myself up over it. she is a DOG.
we found this place literally across the street from our house. it is called george's. if you dont mind stepping over homeless people to get your breakfast- then this place is for you! amazing. greasy, disgusting, and cheap. i feel bad for my former self that i never got to cure a hangover here. (yes, this could have something to do with why i am so large. whatever. i live for syrup lately.)


other than that- i have my second baby shower this weekend. i am so spoiled. but i am so excited. i did the first load of wash for little girl last night. its all so small and sweet i cant stand it. my last day of work before maternity leave is a week from tomorrow (!!)... it will be nice to catch up on life and friendships. i would say sleep, but that ship sailed 2 months ago. scotty has really been so so accommodating and nice to us. he takes huntley on 90% of her walks. gets me crushed ice with 1/10 juice and the rest water whenever i ask without hardly ever rolling his eyes, has been not only cooking dinner and doing dishes, but marketing, and he helps me off of the couch while i squirm and grunt. thanks. it does not go unnoticed.

(even though he got SOOO drunk on saturday night that i was tempted to hit him while he was passed out snoring. but he understands that until baby comes (and after, obviously), his hoorahs are over. O.V.E.R. its on call time.)

life is good.

we are off...

we leave for our little getaway (i feel pretty silly calling it a babymoon) this afternoon. we booked massages, have looked at the local hot spots, and i contacted to concierge to help us find some 31 week pregnant friendly nature walks through the red rock... it should be amazing. in the 40's at night, vista views from our bed, quiet time with my quiet husband. life is good.

its weird to think that in one week i will be on the "do not fly" list.
its weird to think that in four weeks we are instructed to have our hospital bag packed and car seat installed.
its weird to think that this will be our last trip without a child. its our last trip as just elysia + scotty (even though i think we can both honestly say it has felt like more than just "elysia + scotty" for months now).
its weird that all future vacations will be planned around our children. the company we travel with, the places we choose to go, the time of year...

its also amazing. and i cant wait for her to be here with us.

but its also weird. haha.

on another note... a co worker and i were mario + luigi for halloween at work. it was amazing.

6.5 months

i hate to complain, because i really have had it so so good throughout this pregnancy- but being 6.5 months prego + sick as a dog rd 2 + full time job = a self loathing elysia.

i spent the entire weekend trying to stay in and be smart so i could get better. i started my one and only z pack of the year on friday and i was SO SURE it would make me healthy in time for a crazy work week ... false.

i freaked out last night and convinced myself that my throat was closing up. i ran into the living room screaming and crying to scott that i was suffocating. not pleasant. and then my dad is on the phone with scott shooting the shit about golf while i am wheezing and sweating and convincing myself that i am going to suffocate and not make it to the hospital in time... yeah, not pleasant at all.

anywho- but now here i am, still at work, feeling a 1/2 of a % better than yesterday...

but there is too much to look forward to to be self loathing:
1. i get to throw a baby shower for courtney and baby d this weekend in oly
2. i am fortunate enough to be able to fly up to oly for 46 hours...
3. work is busy, and i have a job i love
4. we get to have a sleepover with huntley on wednesday night (i havent blogged about it bc it makes me sad- but our little huntley bear has been at doggy military school for the past THREE WEEKS and we miss her little self like crazy).
5. babymoon soon! only a month away, and the months are going by so so fast... a slow down would be appreciated
6. we have a doc appt (and glucose test) on wed. we havent seen little girl since 20 weeks so i am beyond pumped for wednesday.
7. it is going to rain on wednesday- which means two things: fall (ish) weather, and roofing jobs!
8. we are getting the house sprayed for termites next week.... doesnt seem like something to be too excited about, but it leads to painting the house! which i cannot wait for~
9. only 3.5 more months til we get to meet this little girl we have been growing and lovin. i get more ready and more excited by the minute. thank goodness.

baby girl kicks all of the time. it is my favorite thing in the world (as of now). scotty has gotten to feel her a bunch of times...its kind of our new favorite past time.

she is almost 9 inches and 2 lbs. but we will know a lot more tomorrow after the appt...
fingers crossed for continued smooth sailing!!

love you little girl. so so much.

i might have a problem.

this is what i did at work this morning... yes, i put together a "lookbook" of outfits for our baby. so what. and i might have bought all of these items on either gilt, hautelook, zulily, or mini social. girlfriend will be joining us pretty dang soon and she needs something to wear!


i am pleased to say that i (think i) am officially passed the shock portion of this pregnancy. it may have taken 6 months, but i have fully accepted the fact that a little girl is on the way. and now i am just BEYOND EXCITED! beyond!

im not sure if i really had given a ton of thought to boy vs. girl. i think i just thought boys were easier, and i love grayson so much, so i just figured... but now when i think about having a delicate, sweet, ladylike, considerate little baby girl i MELT.

and seeing boys screaming and jumping off of benches and pretending to play with swords and hit helps too. so so excited to meet this little girl i cant take it.

(and i am excited for more than dress up... i promise)

6 months.

at the airport last wednesday scotty felt her kick for the first time. it was one of the first times i really felt her on the outside too. its silly how exciting it is. and lemme tell ya, she hasnt stopped kicking since. i love it. every second of it.

dear little girl moving around in my belly,

thanks for putting up with the trekking this last week. you are already such an easy going travel companion. a perfect fit for us! we love you so much already i cant even imagine what it will be like in the future. its kinda crazy.

for our little one.

we decided that when we have our little girls baby naming, we are going to have something like this set up:

(it will be a special reminder for her when she grows up of how many people stopped by to love her. dont you think?)



maybe change the basket in front to be a baby carrier? or sub it for a little tricycle. we arent there yet... clearly.

***

baby girls room.

i am having such a hard time finding nursery inspiration... so here are some snippets of things i have found and saved on my desktop. i am new to photoshop. pardon me.

babymoon.

i would imagine it was either a woman or a resort that invented the babymoon. maybe it is silly. maybe it isnt. i dont care. when my husband asked me "where do you want to go on our babymoon?" i got very excited.

we will be spending 4 days in sedona, arizona. one hour flight, and then a long weekend at l'auberge de sedona ... lots of walks along the red rock, cabin on the river, relaxation... yes, please! thanks husband. this will be fun!

20.

i wont do this weekly... but i am five months of prego now. how did this go by so fast?

19.

scotty took this pic of me before heading out to dinner last friday. he took one "head on" that immediatly made me cry... and rush to get a spray tan the next morning.


sorry the pic is so grainy... its scottys droid. when it comes to camera phones, iphone > all others.

16.

dear little girl,

thank you for taking it so easy on my body the last few weeks. you are already the sweetest little one. i lay in bed at night waiting to feel you move... any day now!

your dad and i talk about you all of the time... we cant wait to meet you!!

and dont worry, i only ate half of that sandwich.

love,

mama

baby girl

we are having a little girl! unbeleivable!!

my hubby is a little shocked. and terrified, haha, but we are both so so happy and it feels SO much more real now. cant wait to see scotty and his little toe head pal around. life is grand, my friends.

how cute is this shit? just shut up about it:

stuff.

life has been pretty simple lately... whatever that means. did a little damage at the nordstroms anniversary sale. ella moss made maxi skirts for prego women. and my new silly shades make me so so happy: sometimes when i get very overwhelmed with things like motherhood, responsibility, and the reality of GIVING BIRTH i search the internet for baby stuff and start to feel better immediately. i really am so excited and so lucky... here's stuff that has made me happy this morning:

1. "chewbeads" are these beautiful necklaces i found through miss amy's bon lemon blog and online shoppe. these cute things are not just easy on the eyes, they are also meant to be sucked on, chewed on, pulled on, and they are made of 100% silicon (similar to pacifiers or bottles) so they are soft on little ones gums, you can clean them in the dishwasher, and they are something colorful for your baby to focus on while nursing. genius.

i ordered the "hudson" necklace in turquoise (left). so so genius.

2. baby clothes: they make me feel very excited. if we have a little girl- she will be so comfy and california cool it will be annoying. and if we have a little man, i intend to dress him just like his papa. jeans, t shirts, and flannels. heaven!

3. grayson: he just makes me feel better about life in GENERAL but i hope i am lucky enough to have a boy half as great as he is. sister did such a good job. and as you can see, he has the best life ever: and i might have gotten him the greatest present ever (sub scotty with grayson):

other than that, same ol same ol. my belly is huge. i feel like a house. we got a new rug. work has been so so busy. we joined the club- so now i can take tennis lessons. im pretty happy.