the past few MONTHS

well... riley sure does take up most of my days (not complaining).

i guess a quick recap on the last few months:

- we are selling our house. i am so proud of the little photoshoot it had last week. one day we can show riley where she was made (ha) and spent the first 8+ months of her little life. and she has her own little website? sweet! www.3012bentleycourt.com

- we are in escrow (loooooose term, i know) on what could be (fingers crossed) our dream house. well, maybe not dream... it isnt on the beach and it isnt in big sur... but it could be a place that our little family could be for a very long time. and very happily. and another project is always fun! i spend my nights on my ipad scouring pinterest for ideas. too too fun for someone like me.

- we went to big sur for our TWO YEAR (whhhhhaaaaaaaaaaat?) anniversary. dont ask me how we have been married for two years. some days it seems like a blink of an eye. and then others it seems a tad bit longer :) we camped, which is really fun with a crawling riley. but it was great- full sized air mattress and 47* weather forced lots of cuddles, 80* days made lounging in the river with a cold beer the only place id wanna be, anniversary dinner at nepenthe, walk through andrew molera, and a quick night out at "the dog". we have so many good memories in big sur and it was fun to bring little riley and think of all of the future trips we will have with her. we decided it would be a trip we will take every year.

- i am still not back at work. and i think it will be a long time before i go back. and i am ok with this decision and i am proud of myself for committing to being home with riles. and repeat. and repeat.

- scotty: bought the company as of january 1 2012. he has been killin it and working so hard and really taking the little family owned company to the next level. i am so proud of him and what he has single handedly accomplished so far this year. he's only 31 years old ya'll.

- i just spent about 4 minutes staring at the wall trying to update something relating to myself that isnt also riley related... and i got nothing. i read a really great article in the huffington post about the first years of motherhood and trying to relate with your old friends... and when you are finally able to schedule time to catch up- you just want to hear about them because when the conversation turns to you- all you have updates on are your childs bowel movements, or that they are making a new face, or that they nursed 13 times when you were camping... but that is sooooo fucking boring. so anyways, i am struggling with that. so i got a babysitter (i love her, and she loooooves riley) for six whopping hours a week and instead of using that time to go to target or nordstroms, i am reading in the park. so if you want to talk to me about "freedom" by jonathan franzen- come over any time. other than that... im just going to listen to you talk about you :)

- i waste a lot of my day worrying about what kind of mother i am, what kind of wife i am, daughter, friend, sister, etc. and i think it really prevents me from being as good as i could be. so my new motto thanks to florence and the machine is: its hard to dance with a devil on your back, so shake it out. (yes, i am a 13 year old quoting a rock band).

im working on letting my head stop making me worry about things out of my control so i can live in the present. because the present is a pretty wonderful place.

now onto what is really going on in my life:

- riley sage: 8 months old. still not sleeping through the night, but thats ok. still in bed with us. sitting up since 4.5 months. legitimately crawling since 7 months. she is hilarious, and saturday and sunday mornings scotty and i can stay in bed laughing with her for hours (these are the top moments of my life thus far). obsessed with: flip flops (in her mouth), going through the garbage, huntley's eyes, pulling herself up to bang on ANYTHING in sight, electrical outlets, and any type of chord. and mum mums. sleep crawls in the middle of the night- always ending in head butting either scotty or i. loves being outside... we spend a lot of time at the pool and park. has tan lines in her fat rolls. is a little performer, always wants the attention on her. gabbing and singing non stop- she sings herself to sleep. is currently napping in her crib- first time ever. hates clothes. prefers boob over anything, but will take a sippy cup with breast milk. dances to hall and oates (truth). is the absolutely positively best thing i have ever done in my entire 29 years of existence.

im so fucking bored. but also so happy. 

wedding!

hi,

scotty and i are almost one month away from our one year anniversary. crazy. we also just got our wedding pics. i spent the morning at work going through every single one slowly- huge smile on my face. it really was the greatest day ever. the pictures make me so so happy.

maybe next time i am whining at scott about a bug in the bathroom or taking out the trash, i will look up and see one of these pics and smile instead. probably not... but what a day it was!

thanks scott. for giving me the most beautiful courtship. the most perfect proposal. the most patient partner while wedding planning. and a great first year. not perfect, but truly great! im so so lucky! we have so much to look forward to. its ridiculous.

like we said in our vows... you are my heart, my love, my future and my home. i am honored to call you my partner.

so heres some pics. mostly just to make me happy.

just a few...

Video!

I have yet to get a SINGLE picture from our photographer. Yep- NOT ONE. dont even get me started. But I have a little video made out of friends pictures and flip footage.

It makes me happy! YAY!

HITCHED

it was magic. i am the luckiest girl in the world.

Point 16

Our wedding venue was featured on tons of wedding blogs today! I am excited and mortified all at once. I want it to be a surprise for everyone... but I am also so glad that there is another Big Sur wedding out there in the blog world. It is fun to look at the pics and superimpose my wedding into them! Here's a few...

I guess we are pretty lucky...

All images via Steep Street

A little list

Lying in bed last night I was thinking about all of the exciting things we have going on right now and how lucky I feel for the future. And I guess it does not hurt to mention that the last 27 years havent been half bad either. Here are some of the things I am thankful for TODAY:

1. The birds chirping outside of our window.

2. That we are having a very special and meaningful wedding outside in a spot near and dear to our hearts. That this outside wedding had us sitting up in bed last night OoooOoooHing and AhhhhhHHhhing over the luxury porta-potties we can choose from (it was fun).

3. My nephew. The sweetest, quirkeist little sensitive man I know. That he always stops to smell the flowers. I love that little man.

4. That almost 200 people are traveling to see us on our most special day ever.

5. Weddings are the most fun creative outlet EVER.

6. We get to move in to a cute little house the week after our wedding.

7. This guy. I wish I was a little more like him :)

8. The ever so giving lemon tree outside of our front door. She is always there to liven up our tap waters at dinner time.

9. Time off.

10. Family- We have both become a bit overwhelmed at times during the planning process. Trying to please many family members as well as ourselves can be a bit trying... But in retrospect, how flipping lucky are we that our families care SOOOOOOO much, maybe even TOOOO much. I equate that with loving us SOO much, or TOOOO much- which is impossible. Love you all, you crazy family, you.

I am a little ticked off. I have tried to be a cool relaxed "Big Sur Bride" but I am not... I have asked five times for a certain budget from a certain vendor and I just feel like I am being very ignored. Big time. When you reply to a request with "Will do tonight" and it is already a month late... and then you do not "do tonight", what am I "to do"? Momma is going a little crazy.

I think I have been going a little crazy for the last three weeks. My future husband would agree, I am sure...

I have spent an insane amount of money in the last three weeks and I cannot stop. It is an actual problem with me that I cant seem to control. Wedding related or not, I do not need designer flags to stick in the marshmallows or these vintage inspired posters for our kitchen. I simply do not. Nope.

these rad posters are availble here.

maps and DIY madness

i was at an affordable housing conference for the last two days and i "created" the maps that we will either include on our invitation suite, or in the gift bags. i am going to make a bet now that they end up in the gift bags as the two mothers involved in this wedding will find a hand drawn map SOOOOO TACKY. but still... i think they are so cute. i think i did my fufure husbands hair much justice in this little drawing. that is what i am most proud of.

now i just need to find a sweet and cheap printer. and:

order the out of towners bags

decide what to fill em up with. thoughts so far: barefoot contessas granola (which means i need to find cute little plastic bags, ties, and stickers to put on them), waters, postcard from big sur with stamp on it- so people can send it while they are staying the weekend saying how my fun they are having at MY wedding, tide pens or wipes, alka seltzer, emergen-c, deck of cards, big sure newsletter (free), the map (above) with little blurbs on what to do, the intinerary, some fruit, maybe a chocolate bar, maybe some of that "starbucks to go" stuff, hmm... what else???

AND- here is the logo i want to go on the bags. cutie.

yes, it is the same logo that we wanted to "brand" the chargers with. but that is going to cost THOUSANDS of dollars (wtf???) so we scratched that genius idea. on to the next.

all images via me me me

Show, Don't Tell...

When we were initially deciding where to get married- we knew a few things immediately:

We wanted to be outside
We wanted warm weather
We wanted the ocean close by- preferably in clear view where we could see it, smell it, touch it
We wanted to be able to include all of our family and friends, which is approximately 297 people.
We wanted to have a Jewish ceremony- but we also wanted to be married on a Saturday afternoon.
We wanted to get along while having all of the above.

As it turns out, we got every single thing we wanted. Big Sur is magical. Anyone who has never been there- should go (tomorrow!)- and anyone who has been there would agree with me. It is hard to describe. I wanted to get married in Big Sur since the first time I visited- before I ever met my dream man. It turns out, my future also had a connection to Big Sur- it just solidified it for both of us. Our first weekend together there, one of our many roadtripping down from Olympia, WA to Venice, CA, was the first time he told me he was going to marry me. I remember what I was wearing, what he was wearing (birthday suit!) and what the tent cabin smelled like. We have stayed at that campground since, and each time is as fun as the first. It is one of the most magical, stunning, inspiring, sexy places I have ever been.

Now that I have bragged about how lucky I am to be getting hitched in Big Sur- let me say- IT IS HARD FLIPPIN WORK TO PLAN A WEDDING IN BIG SUR FROM SANTA MONICA!

Although the idea of a cookie cutter wedding where the venue had option A,B, or C is my nightmare- now I see why so many couples and families (oh yeah, we have two Jewish mothers involved) go this route. To think that you can just sign a contract and show up! What a relief! BUT! Having a wedding that represents HE and I- well, there was never really any other option. Big Sur is mellow. This is part of it’s charm. I like to describe myself as mellow- but I don’t think I am, at least not “Big Sur mellow”. Our caterer and florist are two awesome women! Cheri Gladstone- our caterer, coordinator, day of master, is rad. She is brief, smart, and honest. I wish I was more like her, even though she scares me a tad. Her food looks incredible is all organic, local and YUMMY! Our florist, Kate Healy is also a bad ass rad woman. She is a local and picks flowers from her backyard for the centerpieces and bouquets. Both these women have made the experience, thus far, pretty cool. There aren’t 10 page contracts, they respond to emails when they feel like it, they know what’s up- basically they keep me in check. The part that scares me is when they find out I cant make a decision for the life of me, and that I have anxiety up the wazoo- but for now- I am a mellow Big Sur bride, who gets to marry the best guy in the best place surrounded by the best family, friends, and vendors!! When I took my first Journalism class, I was told the number one rule of being a proactive journalist and person was: SHOW, DON'T TELL. This is my half assed attempt to show my thoughts- baby steps to the final result. Below are my ideas, i.e. the only due diligence I have done thus far.

1. An outdoor lounge- halfway between the bar and the dance floor-

Both images via http://www.classicpartyrentals.com/

2. A lantern ceremony once the sun sets; all lanterns are 100% biodegradeable and 100% amazing! The chinese lantern ceremony is a representation of hope, good blessings, and prosperity...

Images/lanterns via here , and it was brought to my attention at august and everything after

3. Vows- We are writing our own. We are both going to cry. I am going to look awful in the pictures of our ceremony. We have both just thought about the wedding and almost cried (he) or completely bawled (me). I think we are going to request the Rabbi to read our promises for us, to keep it under control and to keeep me from snotting . I am also going to need to keep it simple (the list of things I love about him is pretty long (and growing!!) so I will spare are all of my hungry and thirsty family and friends), and most of all- make them OURS. I don't want to go too crazy quoting Kahil Gibran or lyrics by every artist I have listened to since getting my first walkman. I guess having too many things you love about your man is a good problem to have.

4. Flowers!!! We want flowers that are in season (!!), local, and of course- pretty. Our florist is awesome and she will make these things happen for us… here are the ones that got the stamp of approval from my future hubby*.

all floral prettyness found here...

* future hubby stamp of approval goes something like this- looks up from cards, "yep, looks good", and back to playing solitaire. Whatever, I'll take it...

Here We Go Again...

I am getting married! Woo freaking hoo! My future husband is the best! He is my best friend. He is my lover. He is my future. He tickles my back even when he doesn’t want to, he doesn’t judge me when I cry at commercials, and he makes me laugh multiple times a day. He also happens to be a great son, brother, friend, is super ambitious and kind, and is also absurdly hot! Oh yeah, I am one lucky gal!

We are gettin hitched in Big Sur (!!!!) this August. Theknot.com reminded me today that we are 164 days away! We got engaged last April on our rooftop in Venice. Since then, we have had a blast being engaged- celebrating, traveling, working, moving, learning, and planning. We have the site (ridiculous), the caterer (badass lady and delish), and ideas… so… now that it is 164 days out… GAME ON!

I will not lie, we have had a few shouting matches over this day- ones that always end in embarrassment and shame at how lost we got… I keep thinking about the last few months and how in synch we have been- giving us pats on the back for such loving behavior- and then I remember that we haven’t made a decision about the wedding in months...and I pull back on the reigns of applause. So now, as I mentioned, it is game time. No more sending him and my sister and my friends pics of pretty bouquets or funky invitations with subject lines “you likey?” It is decision making time!! Which also means it may be fight time. Unfortunately, it’s on!